Had enough

Confused. Frustrated. Headaches. Tension everywhere around me. I like hanging out with friends. Not particularly with boys but hey, when your neighborhood is lack of girl who is into sports, it's hard NOT to be friends with them. Am I being too close with them? I cannot deny it also. It's easier for me to communicate with boys because girls are so judgemental. You have to look good enough to be friends with them. You have to be smart. You have to be like this and that. If you aren't, they will still be your friends, but later in time, gossips and rumors will be spreading around like butter on bread. And a girl like me, I want to be happy. What makes me happy? When my friend is giving me attention. I love it when they come and find me or look for me, it feels like I'm accepted. I don't like it when anyone controls me or forbids me of doing what I want. I hate it especially when people keep nagging me of something or scolds me. Why can't they just hit me or slap me for my wrong doings rather than nag, nag, nag, grumble, grumble, grumble.. It is KILLING me slowly... erghh..

Plus, relationships need commitment. I hate commitment. It feels like a job and a responsibility. All I want is to have fun after all the tensions and stuff. Words really cannot describe how I feel right now. It's always hard to breath and hard to think whenever the troubles in my head running around like it's going to be stuck there forever! Suffering!




[my hand and rebecca's]

I've been fooled. Fooled again and again and again. But there will be NO MORE. No more again. This ends now and forever. I have Him now as my guardian and the one that help me get through this time of sadness. =]

Love sucks. Except the Love from God.