Whole week's round up

(can you see? Garion's football is stuck inside..can you find the hidden ball?)

This week has been quite boring and sad....and a RELIEF!
Boring is because it's exam week! AND...well, I skipped one day due to my stomachache[boohoo]..Well, Anyway, I missed basic economics and arts. I feel bad and also half-happy about it because I didn't take econs exam[ =( ] but SKIPPED the DRAWING and COLOURINGS!! [ =) ]. The sad and relief part is sort of about the same thing. I'm just sad that I know I HAD to do it and it breaks my heart to know that I've hurt someone..but relief that I don't need to hide or keep it to myself anymore. I'm just sorry for EVERYTHING!

I've been really thinking about a lot of things..I just want what is best for me and others. I really don't wanna continue this drama or whatever you call it. I know I'm bad, I'm the devil. Hate me, despise me. I know I'm wrong. All I can say is, : SORRY.

Anyway, I think this post is really really boring though.. hmm.. I really don't know what else to say anymore..just that, MY ANKLE HURTS!! The old pain...IT'S BACK to HAUNT mE!! Help..!! (?) I need my sister!! Come back.. =(

I'll be back to blog..tata..>.<

wootzz

(drew this picture long time ago..)

For now, I am really obsessed with basketball. =)

Hope to play everyday, if it's not because of the rain, I wouldn't be here blogging.


potong gemuk!!

Stupid

I drank last night with a bunch of school friends. Not much though. Just two or three cups. But was having this awful headache since after I drank. I'm a sucker at drinking. Anyways, lucky I wasn't drunk. Or else, that'll be like, gosh.. Slept at around 2 and woke up the next 9hours or so. I think I'll never drink for, like, another few months.

Gonna play basketball this evening!
=D
*yay!*

basketball, i just missed u so much <3

Sorry Garion

Had a little fight with little Garion couple of days ago. He kept on disturbing and annoy me.
Wherever I go, he'll be following like for example, when I watch tv in the living room, he'll sit beside me.
When I go to my grandpa's room to read books, he'll be taking his homework in and do it.
When I take my nap, he'll be calling," yi ka jie! yi ka jie! "..
Swt..how can anyone stand being stuck around with that noisy boy??
So, 2 days ago, I snap-ed! I scolded him and told him to go off and not bug me again..
He cried and told me something that shut my mouth.


"You never spend time with me anymore! You always go out and always busy! You never play with me anymore.."



That woke me up. I really have to admit. I never spend time with him anymore..
So, last night, I asked him to follow me to my grandpa's room and we both talk about his school. He's sooo CUTE when I don't think he's irritating. We talked and I end up falling asleep after awhile.
I'm gonna make a promise to him and myself,

- Spend more time with my little brother! =) -

I will never neglect him anymore.

Love you Garion!

Cold Morning

( In Taman Rakyat, taken long time ago )

What a COLD morning.
Can't get a good night sleep because of the heavy rain with thunders and lightnings.
I sure hope the weather today won't be as hot as yesterday, after this heavy rain.

I had a real fun last night at Connect-ED's Black and White event.
*s m i l e s *

Learned a lot about what profanity means, what comes out of your mouth will do to the person's life, the history of the word F..U..C..K and S..H..I..T, and the best of all, is that I am able to mix around and talk with people =D, but I still tend to be a lil' quiet sometimes when others talking among themselves and sometimes I just don't get what they're talking until they laugh (swt-s??).

Anyway, it's an awesome night.
* Thumbs Up *

Yea, my dad sort of 'loan' me his camera ( though I take it as mine ) for my moral folio's kerja amal.
I'm suppose to take fake picture of me being hardworking, but I end up taking pictures of everything everywhere!

The picture below is my experiment on a picture with flash and without flash.

I know it's not nice..it's just a random, silly experiment done by a crazy gal.
So..this is the result.
'O.O'

Guess that's all for now.
Gonna suffer pretty badly this week.
='(
Hope I'll live through it.
* PRAY *

.I just don't think it's working out.
.You're trying too hard.

=)

Taken randomly when I wash my dad's car this morning.
=)

PoOotTTttAaAAtTTTTtoOoOO

Guess what?

I made Mashed Potato!!

[XD]
I had my mom bought some potatoes for me in the morning market yesterday.
WeeHee~!!
Guessed I watched too much AFC programmes.
[=P]

~Inilah hasil potato saya.~

~I know it looks a lot like a yellow gunk, but you haven't tried it yet!~

It's quite nice.(REALLY!!)
The hardest part is mashing the potato!
I don't have the thingy to mash it so I used fork.
I kept poke poke poke for half and hour until my hands and fingers started to sore..!
Gosh.. But It's worth it loh..
[=D]
I don't know how to make the gravy.
[=.=]
So I add whatever I want to add in it.
Try it yourself one day!
=P

Gonna make something different next time.

[Tata]

I don't need help if I never ask

People just don't know that I can take care of myself.
Hey.
I am not a small girl. I can be independent also okay? What if I'm blur? What if I'm slow? What if I look dumb? Hello?? Am I NOT a human being?
I make TONS of mistakes but apparently I learn from those mistakes.
I don't like people busy-bodying about how I should do this or how I should do that. I can take care of myself!
I am not those people who looks sympathetic and says, "Oh! How miserable am I! I'm so sad. I need someone who can take care of me! blah blah blah...!!"
NO!
When I say I don't need anyone's help, I MEAN it. If ever I need assistant on anything, I will request for it. I don't need sympathy from anyone.
Don't and I mean, DON'T, ever ever ever EVER insist on helping me. I know people around me may be kind and see that I kinda need a helping hand but when I say no I mean it.

Like for example, today, there was this korn on my finger and I have this pen-knife in my pencil box. My hand was kind of itchy and well, I cut the korn. I knew it would bleed because I cut it quite deep and I tried it before but I never thought that until after recess it would still be bleeding! So, after awhile I felt quite irritated by the non-stop bleeding because it affects my writing. Then I asked for a plaster from my classmates and no one have any. I stopped asking after I asked every of my classmates.

Then when our teacher was asking whether any of us understands what she taught in the class, Rebecca wanted to ask her that I need a plaster and I said NO because how can you be asking teacher for plaster when teacher is helping and giving us tips to score for exam?
But noooo... she HAS to insist. But I still said no. Then finally, she kept quiet.

But then again.. how can I forgotten about that nosy Siew Yen?? She asked teacher but luckily our teacher was deaf enough to not have heard what she said. When I thought everything was okay, nosy SY kept repeating the question again and again and again, HAH!!!!!
In the end, I can't take it anymore I just raised my voice and said, " When I said NO means NO! What kind of NO can't you all understand!??".
And all went quiet. I was mad like WOW! Whole body was like shaking and my brain can't think straight. I can't face everyone and I end up looking outside the window and cool myself.

Little Miss Ruba Devi 'back-stabbed' me and told teacher that I need a plaster. Teacher came to me and said what happened.
At that time I was still quite shakey and I answered teacher, " It's not like my finger is broken or anything. I don't need a plaster.".
Know what teacher said?
"If she say she doesn't need a plaster, don't need to trouble yourself to find it for her."

SEE??

Waste of time to help me.

I know you guys are of good intention to help me but when I say no, please don't insist.
I can be very scary and also I will not have the power to control myself from being a monster.
You all are lucky that I did not hit anyone.
Continue to my finger story.
After the teacher was out, our basic economics' teacher was absent. So I turned to Rebecca and said," Hey, let's go to the school's office to look for some plasters."

SEE???(again)


Told you when I need help I will ask for it myself.

Remember, I'm not a person who adores being treated like a Lord or queen. I am ME.

ps : REBECCA!! I'm sorry I raised my voice at you!

HERE YE! HERE YE!

Who wants to join me for rock climb at One Utama Shopping Centre on the 15th on June? You can see the info about the price and time by clicking HERE. Please let me know at the *Blah Blah Blah* corner and the more the merrier! =)

weird (-.=)"

While I was waiting for my friend to fetch me to school this morning, I have this urge of taking picture outside my house. When I open the camera and I look through the screen on the phone, I see this blurry affect. I thought the phone was like spoiled or something. When I check the lens, I was like, "oh..it was just water" =.= weird way to start the day. =]

Had enough

Confused. Frustrated. Headaches. Tension everywhere around me. I like hanging out with friends. Not particularly with boys but hey, when your neighborhood is lack of girl who is into sports, it's hard NOT to be friends with them. Am I being too close with them? I cannot deny it also. It's easier for me to communicate with boys because girls are so judgemental. You have to look good enough to be friends with them. You have to be smart. You have to be like this and that. If you aren't, they will still be your friends, but later in time, gossips and rumors will be spreading around like butter on bread. And a girl like me, I want to be happy. What makes me happy? When my friend is giving me attention. I love it when they come and find me or look for me, it feels like I'm accepted. I don't like it when anyone controls me or forbids me of doing what I want. I hate it especially when people keep nagging me of something or scolds me. Why can't they just hit me or slap me for my wrong doings rather than nag, nag, nag, grumble, grumble, grumble.. It is KILLING me slowly... erghh..

Plus, relationships need commitment. I hate commitment. It feels like a job and a responsibility. All I want is to have fun after all the tensions and stuff. Words really cannot describe how I feel right now. It's always hard to breath and hard to think whenever the troubles in my head running around like it's going to be stuck there forever! Suffering!




[my hand and rebecca's]

I've been fooled. Fooled again and again and again. But there will be NO MORE. No more again. This ends now and forever. I have Him now as my guardian and the one that help me get through this time of sadness. =]

Love sucks. Except the Love from God.

Changes

[Honor and respect to our school]
-(((vomit)))-

Some people change. Some people show their true self. It's because of their surroundings. I changed? Don't blame me. It's because of the things that happens. They made me who I am today. Though I may look different or act different, that doesn't change the fact that I am still the same inside.

All I can say is, I have to live in this world, I'm trying my best.

Don't come back please.

Having to face tons of tensions that is around me and also to know that there's some invincible negative aura around me is really pushing me to the edge.Having to lose one of my good friend, my families pushing me aside, teachers looking down on me, to achieve others people expectations towards me, envying what others can do or have, knowing that there's no one else out there knows that I exist.. it's really sad. Studies. Financial problems. Family. The economics. Those are few of the reason why students and adults are seeing psychiatrist. Ways to over-come it? I have exactly NO idea. Why? People who are having these problems are either a shy person or they're just people who don't trust other people. I mean, if this human being are always optimistic they won't be facing these problems right? Those person who face these kinda situations are mostly people who has low self-esteem. The only thing to do for us is to help these people. Those who are in need. I don't know what has come into my mind that all I can think of are these thing. Help.

Goodbye.

ps: I want to be alone.

Sometimes, being lonely is not always a sad thing.
When you're alone, you can think properly.
When you're alone, you don't need to care for what others feel.
The best thing about being alone, you're FREE as a bird.
The bad thing is, well, you'll feel lonely.

Being alone can also lead you to doing crazy stuff.
Stupid people like me, does a lot of those.

And I learn a lot of lesson in those.

Sometimes, I don't learn anything.[=X]

And always be OPTIMISTIC.

This picture below reminds me of that stupiak friend of mine, Rebecca. =.= Purple..

*smiles*

TTFN~~